bienveillance

kindness

As I was preparing to head on this trip, many of my friends in the states warned me that French people aren't very kind to Americans. I was quick to let those warnings slide off my back, because I simply didn't understand how that could be. When I finally arrived in this magical city, I was eager to disprove the common stereotype of French people, and so far, most Parisians have helped me do that. I have made many friends over the past couple weeks, and as a whole, the French have been quite amiable towards me. However, there has certainly been times when I've felt uncomfortable, scrutinized, judged, and downright bullied.

"Just got made fun of in French. My heart hurts." 

I received this text from my roommate, Lindsay, last night while I was in The Pub bathroom. When I came back out, her demeanor had gone from bubbly and energetic to quiet and introverted. It turns out that after she had tried ordering a drink in French, a French girl at the bar just openly mimicked her.

The ignorant French girl must not have realized that despite being foreigners, we've actually become regulars at The Pub and have developed a friendly relationship with the bartenders. Of course, this pub has some French name attached to it, but we've simply come to refer to it as The Pub since that is what it advertises itself as. When the said bartenders first met us, we would simply order in English and throw in a "s'il vous plait" at the end to be polite. Last night, Lindsay and I confidently strode to the bar and placed our order entirely in French. The bartenders were so impressed at how far we have come in such a short time! Which is why it was even more hurtful to be made fun of for putting the effort out there. However, our bartender friends came to Lindsay's rescue and proved that there are kind Parisians still out there. After the French girl's rude outburst, they had a few angry words in French with her that got her quiet for the remainder of the night.

Unfortunately, there is more than one ignorant French girl in this big city. Today as we strolled along Avenue des Champs-Élysées, Lindsay bumped into someone and quickly said, "sorry." A nearby girl, who was by no means involved in the situation, also mimicked Lindsay loud to her friends and started slurring out other obnoxious American sayings, like "oh my gawwwd." I was immediately frustrated with the girl for being so rude, but then I started thinking, American actually do this all the time. I can't count how many times we've imitated a British accent or tried sounding Aussie by using the word "mate." Maybe the girl just thought we sounded funny and couldn't help but spit out a couple slogans she knew. I don't think her imitation was quite that innocent, but I can give her the benefit of the doubt.

Aside from being mocked in public, I've also learned small talk is a no-no. I was trying to order from the the Pub's bartender last night, but I had to wait a few minutes while he chose another song to play. After doing so, I simply tried to say, "Good song." Now, it was a pretty catchy tune, I suppose, but nothing that blew me away. I was simply trying to make small talk. Well, the bartender didn't quite understand what I was saying, whether I tried in French or English. At some point, another woman came and was waiting besides me. As I tried to spitting out various French and English phrases to explain what I meant, I could feel the other woman's irritable gaze settling on me. I figured the best solution to this would be to include her in the confusing conversation. Maybe I offended her by how slow and loud I was trying to speak at the time, but when I again stated it was a good song, she simply replied with, "It's a French song." Her compilation of verbal and non-verbal cues implied that 1. I was not bright enough to figure out the song was in French and 2. How dare I, an American, imply that I like a French song.

Despite the sprinkles of tension throughout my trip, I will stick with my original theory. There are kind people and not-so-kind people all over the world in every city. Paris is no different. It is not a city made up of a few million unkind people, however, you are bound to run into a few grumps once in a while.